You're Gonna Hear Me Roar

I have had this blog for almost two years now. And in the past year (and a half if we are being honest) it has been severely neglected.  I have been so busy...with a lot of things. One of them being I get so caught up and distracted with reading other blogs that I never have time to do my own.  And then there's that little comparison monster that creeps in and tells me I haven't had anything good to say compared to these people. And these girls have perfect lives, they aren't anything like me. But lately it hit me...I love reading blogs where the authors are REAL. They pour their hearts out. They talk about REAL things going on in their lives, past and present. Good AND bad. Not just superficial things. They help people, just by sharing, and letting others know they aren't alone in how they feel, or in having bad experiences. 

It got me thinking.... I have been so quiet on my OWN blog. Especially lately.  And I feel like I am almost a completely different person than when I started this thing in the very beginning of 2012. And you know what? I have a lot to say! (these realizations could be due to the fact that I have been obsessed with Katy Perry's 'Roar' lately). And up until now I have been very, very private with my personal life.  I never wanted to talk about things that have happened in my life.  I have barely written personal things in my own journal about my private life. Part of the reason for that is there have been some very difficult and heart-breaking experiences. And it's like I didn't want to record them for anyone to ever read them, I felt like they were too near, too painful, too recent, too humiliating. And even in writing, it had always been very difficult for me to share what I am feeling. So I only alluded to them in past posts. Actually, like only one of them.

But things are different now, and because of these experiences, I have been learning how to open up. And I have decided to open up about my life. To use my tiny corner of the internet for good.  To maybe let someone else out there know that they aren't the only one to feel the way they do. 

I am not saying I am depressed. I am not saying I have a horrible life. I am not saying that I have had the most difficult, horrible experiences that are possible to have.  I AM saying that I have been hurt. That I have made mistakes. That I have lost myself. That I have been betrayed. That I have been broken so deeply I never thought I could heal. That I survived what was, at the time, my worst nightmare.  But, most importantly, that I have learned. That I have been blessed beyond measure. That I have grown. That I have loved. That I have been loved. That my testimony is strong. That I know things horrible things happen, but there is ALWAYS hope. That I KNOW my Redeemer lives, and HE is what has gotten me though everything and anything. That I have always had a light, not at the end of the tunnel and something always off in the distance, but right beside me leading me out of the dark. My Savior. And I know He lives. And I know that there's a purpose in EVERYTHING we are called to go through. I saw a quote recently by Brigham Young that said 

"Every trial and experience you have passed through is necessary for your salvation." 

I know that He would never allow me to hurt more than necessary. And that no matter what He calls me to pass through while on this earth, it will be MORE than worth it when I leave this earth. 

So here's to opening up, and sharing my stories. And you know what?

You're gonna hear me roar.