Sunday, March 13, 2016


Last month my little sister came out to Utah to visit me for her birthday! She was only here a few days but I can say it was the best few days I have spent in Utah, hands down. She's my bff and I miss her so much! No one really understands how close we are. We have been inseparable ever since starting homeschool together 11 (YIPE!) years ago.  We just have done everything together for the last decade+. We have been a constant in each other's lives while other friends have faded, moved, gotten married, etc. So it was SO super hard to say goodbye to her when I moved here almost 5 months ago!

I am SO grateful that she got to come visit. My roommates asked me what I planned for us, and most of our plans, to be honest, revolved around food. HAHA! So many yummy places out here that aren't back east. We were reunited with Kneaders, fell DEEPLY in love with Fiiz, devoured pizza at The Pie, nibbled on Yogurtland, and more. Such a yummy, gluttonous few days. We were seriously sick by the end haha.

In between eating we explored and I got to show her some places I have been wanting to since I've come out here. We went to The District and caught a movie, saw the UP house in Herriman, took in the Bountiful and Ogden Temples, saw The Finest Hours (SO GOOD) at Station Park which she fell in love with like I have. We projected some quality chick flicks and disney movies on a screen at my house while we savored Fiiz and pizza, and more. It was just all so perfect and we had SO much fun! Take me back! It was incredibly hard to put her on a plane to fly back home.
When I moved out here, and had to drop my mom off at the airport and hug her goodbye, I think the Lord was seriously shielding me from the sadness and fear I could have been experiencing. I was just so happy to be starting my adventure and excited for the possibilities. I didn't really feel anything, because it didn't feel real.

But since then I have had the some of the hardest days I never knew were coming. I have felt absolute, thick & gripping loneliness that has gripped me so hard at times that sometimes I feel like I will lose my mind. There have been many solo trips to the movies, to grab food, go shopping, church events, etc, many days and nights spent alone.Because of these experiences, I had a very different time this trip to the airport. I barely pulled away before I burst into tears. The feeling of utter and completely loneliness was staring me in the face and I didn't want any part of it. I knew what was waiting for me this time. There was no naiveté.

I am so grateful that even though I can feel and be completely and utterly alone, I never truly am. Heavenly Father and His Son live. They are there. They have been my comfort, solace, and Best Friends this whole time. I am grateful I can pray and receive comfort and peace, and a feeling of love that takes over, even in the dark, lonely times.

I am so grateful my family that God has given me. I don't think I could ever fully express how much they all mean to me. I am SO,SO,SO blessed. And I am so grateful for a little sister that has been my sidekick all these years. It was so wonderful to have her visit and celebrate her being alive for 25 awesome years! Heaven knows I needed her all this time, and this amazing visit.

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