Wednesday, December 31, 2014

And then there were 27

Wow. Another year has come and gone and I am still in shock. I turned 27 a few weeks ago and let me tell you....that is even more of a shock, yo! I can't believe it. For a bit I was struggling with the idea of entering my late 20's. I don't know if I am the only one who does this but I kind of tend to treat my birthdays like New Years. I look back on the year, I take stock, and sadly most of the time... I make myself feel like horse poop.
It's easy to compare your life to the picture you have in your head of how things should be. And truth be told, if you have a picture in your head of how it's supposed to be, it's pretty near perfection. And that makes real life REAL hard to measure up. Especially when you are using a skewed yardstick like most of us tend to do and are super hard on ourselves. I know I am.
I tend to get disappointed with things and think to myself "This is SO not what I pictured I would be like, or how things would be when I was (insert age)!"
And before you know it I am stuck in the comparison trap.
I compare my life to others.
I compare my circumstances to others.
I compare how I handle things to how others do.
I compare what others have to what I have.
I compare my body, hair, makeup, talents, etc to all those seemingly perfect girls around me and blogs plastered all over the place.
And pretty quickly I feel like I come up ridiculously short.
But you know what I have finally started to realize?
I AM ME. There is NO one else who is me or ever will be, EVER.
Heavenly Father created me individually. He has molded my life individually. He has blessed me individually. He has loved me individually. He never intended for me to measure myself or my blessings by the yardsticks of others. He just want me to try my best, and be measured against what HE wants for me. And that changes daily. Sometimes my efforts for the day are amazing. I accomplish a lot. I use my talents. I serve. I study and pray more. I do better. Then some days are really hard, and I fall SO short from the day before. But you know what? If I am having a hard day He isn't expecting me to be my best self from another day. My best self for that day is what He wants. And He accepts my meager efforts, because sometimes that is all I can manage. He just says, "That's ok, try a little harder tomorrow."
He is not hard on us. WE are hard on us.
And when we compare ourselves and our lives to others it is only being ungrateful for the multitude of blessings He has given US individually.
I went into 27 with a much better attitude than I have the past few birthdays. He has blessed me to learn SO much over the past few years of my life. I have been stretched to the point of breaking. There have been trials I never would have wanted in a million years. There have been days so incredibly hard I couldn't picture them ever being even close to "good" again.
But over these last few years there has been SO much growth. I have been given SO much. I have been blessed WAY more that I have been hurt. Everything that has been a trial has turned into a blessing, or is on its way into turning into a blessing.
26 was SO good to me. I am so grateful for this year.
I crossed some major items of my bucket list like going to California and dipping my feet in the Pacific Ocean (which was a trip I WON, HECK yeah!)
I got 2 amazing jobs with families that I absolutely LOVED and were SUCH blessings to me
I expanded my photography skills and business
I traveled around and took day trips
I saw One Direction in concert TWICE, one if them was in FRONT ROW!!
I read the Book of Mormon 5 times
I started my own business selling shirts and prints I have spent years working on
(Wow as I read that I have a lot of blog posts to catch up on...haha...)

I am so grateful He has given me another year to be SO blessed. 27 is exciting! I can't wait to see what happens this year. I plan on making it AMAZING.