Sunday, December 6, 2015

Utah Yo! Month One

I cannot believe I have been in Utah for over a month now! That just blows my mind. But at the same time, has it really only been a little over a month?! It's crazy.
Life is so, so different for me than it was just 1 month ago. Between all the newness surrounding me, and getting to know myself even more, I feel like a completely different person almost.
There have definitely been some HARD days. One particularly rough and disappointing night I was driving home fighting back tears of frustration, just feeling dumbfounded, praying to the Lord saying, "I'm DONE! I don't know what else you want from me.!" It took everything in me not to pack up my car and high tail it out of Utah the next day.
But you know what? I am glad I stayed. There are still hard days. But there are SO many blessings to make up for them. And even in the hard days, I feel myself being strengthened and blessed and given peace that passeth all understanding. I know that the Lord has been upholding me and sending His angels to bear me up. That's for sure.
I have 2 really amazing roommates. We talk so easily with each other. We're starting to have lots of gab fests and lots of "dating, uuuuuugggggghhh talks." haha. It is definitely a blessing that the Lord has given me in the form of two such amazing people to share a home with!
Coming to a place where I know absolutely NO one has definitely made me really self-aware. Which leads to being self conscious more than I'd like to admit, but even more so, it has made me just realize more who I am as a person, how I think, what's going on with me emotionally and mentally, etc.
For instance, ever since a really difficult, life-altering break up a few years ago, I KNEW that I had put up a lot of walls around myself, and my heart. And as time went on, no matter how much I wanted it differently, I felt myself just steel-reinforcing those walls. And I thought in the healing that has taken place since then that I had gotten rid of those walls completely. Well, moving here has definitely made me aware that those walls are still there. Not as big and strong and impassable as before, but they linger. And I am glad that I am able to realize that now. Because now I am trying to make conscious efforts to open up more and let people in. And I am learning that opening up and everything doesn't equal getting hurt. Yes there is that risk, but you also are able to let a lot really amazing people in as well.
I started this post just intending to post some pictures and give a brief narrative of what's been going on here in Utah for I am not sure I got here, but oh well. haha. So anyways....
One of my favorite, scratch that, my FAVORITE thing about being in Utah are all the temples here! It is AMAZING! I have made a point to go to one at least once a week, even if sometimes that means just sitting outside and playing a conference talk or BYU speech while parked, looking at it. It makes me SO happy. Words cannot describe how much I love the Lord's temples.And I can't get over how there are at LEAST 9 temples within 45 minutes of my house- that I have been to at least. There are probably more! haha.
So without further ado- here is the last month+ of my life in UT in pictures: